• Chimamanda noted that her need for privacy is now superseded by her desire to honour her lovely parents especially her mother, going by the fact that mothers are often sidelined during weddings in the western world.
Renowned author and writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has taken to her social media page via Instagram to shower some praises on her parents reminiscing on her wedding years ago.
And according to Adichie, her wedding many years ago was small and lovely, just as she and the husband wanted it, adding that she asked her family not to post any photos publicly because she wanted privacy.
But now, her need for privacy is superseded by her desire to publicly honour her mom who she referred to as a rare and wonderful woman. And her reason for putting the post out is to inspire any young woman who’s questioning any convention like the one in the western world where it’s almost seen as tradition to sideline the mother of the bride during wedding.
It’s always seen during western wedding that the father walks the bride down the aisle and has first dance with the bride, as well as often gives a speech while the mother doesn’t seem to be allowed to do all that.
Chimamanda stated that she decided to change the convention and asked that her mom and dad would walk her down the aisle and have the first dance with her mom, not as so she doesn’t like her dad, he was very supportive, she said, but all she wanted was change the convention and personally honour her parents equally.
She left her final words saying that convention is something made up by somebody and repeated by others. And If convention feels wrong for you, like, if your skin bristles and your spirit stalls at the thought of doing something “the way it is done,” then you should stop and act, adding that we can unmake convention to make things more just, more complete, more beautiful.
Read Chimamanda’s statement below.
“I have always felt that western wedding traditions sideline the mother of the bride — the father walks the bride down the aisle, the father has the first dance with the bride, often the father gives a speech while the mother doesn’t.
“Our wedding, many years ago, was small and lovely, just as we wanted it. I asked family and friends not to post any photos publicly. I wanted privacy. But my need for privacy is now superseded by my desire to publicly honour the rare and wonderful woman I called my mother. And I hope this perhaps inspires any young women (and men) out there who are questioning any kind of convention.
“Before the wedding, I decided that both my parents would walk me down the aisle. And I decided that my first dance would be with my mother. My father, who I often teasingly called DOS for “Defender of Spouse,” was very supportive. He wasn’t much of a dancer – I inherited his unrhythmic genes – but my mother was. And my mother’s joy on that day was a gorgeous glowing thing.
“Convention is something made up by somebody and then repeated by others. If convention feels wrong for you, if your skin bristles and your spirit stalls at the thought of doing something “the way it is done,” then stop and act.
“We can make changes. We can try and craft small slices of the life we want.
“We can unmake convention to make things more just, more complete, more beautiful.
“Not everyone will be happy with you, because it is human nature to try and conserve things as they are, but your spirit will feel full, and there is nothing more meaningful than knowing you have been true to yourself.”
